You'd better not shout.
You'd better not cry.
You'd better be good, I'm telling you why...
Santa Claus is coming to town...
When I was a kid Christmas carols were just Christmas carols, to be sung at things like Carols-in-the-Domain, reasonably innocent, although slightly confusing with their manically joyful songs about fun-loving Santa, and serious, somewhat dour songs about this baby called Jesus. But as I've grown older, and consequently more cynical and bitter, some of these songs have taken on a much more sinister air, as per example above. Lets not even go into frosty the snowman-we'll just say one word: Nightmare. Considering a lot of kids find Santa terrifying anyway (A big, old, fat guy who watches you at night and breaks into your house? What's so scary about that??) I've been thinking Christmas should get a make over... with the help of bicycles!
Christmas Inc. needs to take a course at the school of modern marketing and get on board the bicycle band-wagon.* Because if you can tell one thing from a plethora of recent advertising for all sort of products it's that BIKES SELL!
(Super-Hot-Girls on bikes also helps "sell", but I don't think we need to include S-H-G with Santa's new Image... It'd be all sorts of wrong.)
Cotton On Body has launched it's swimwear range this week, employing the locale of Byron Bay, Dancing Man, hot girls, and bikes of course! Bondi Beach Cruisers have their great trailer also using the holy trinity of girls-beach-bikes (sacrilegious pun intended, sorry god). Even lots of recent car advertising has used bikes, and that's the one that really confuses me, because most car drivers hate bicycles...
Back to XXXmas-
At least with all the pedalling he can work off all of those cookies and
milk brandy milk. He might even loose the paunch, get healthy and live for another million years. And that's the story of how bicycles saved Christmas. Yay!
*A Bicycle Band-Wagon would be very cool.